"It's ok to have butterflies ~ just make sure they're all flying in the same direction."

I had my first pre-season Swim Clinic this morning in Larkspur. To be honest, I was really nervous about the prospect of jumping into a pool and seeing just how much more experienced the other swimmers would be. It was like the first day of Summer Camp, only I was fortunate to have a few familiar faces by my side (like Tiffany, Rocky & Head Coach Dave) to keep me from wetting my pants.

I put myself in Group 1, the batch of most inexperienced swimmers -- only to find myself getting bumped into Group 2. I could hear Coach Joe yelling above the water, "Maria, you know how to swim! Go over to the deeper end!" Before I knew it, I was doing repetitive laps: 25 yards out, 25 back. Just after a couple, I felt winded. As I stared down at the pool floor I felt a wave of discouragement. I felt this rush and panic to get to the other end of the pool and I felt like I needed to gasp for air since my heart was beating so fast. When I reached the end of the "warm-up" (yes, this was only the start of our clinic ~ we hadn't even began our swim drills), I had to do some serious self-talk.

See, what I've learned through all my marathon training is this invaluable lesson: You can't let yourself get overwhelmed. Things will happen, not go as planned, and sometimes it won't go right or be perfect at all. But you can't freak out. You have to just take in the moment, accept it, stop, and take a breath. You find your bearings and keep going ~ one step (or stroke) in front of the other. And that's all a part of life, too.

So I trusted myself (haha and to think all of this was happening underwater -- way to multitask, right?) and kept going with the drills. Before I knew it, I was continuously swimming my laps and all that discouragement, self-doubt and worry took a backseat. Sure, I was still tired and feeling winded after every couple of laps. But I trudged on and kept going. For the final 100 yds (after I thought we were about ready for our cooldown), Coach Dave wanted us to go ALL out and swim our strongest out and back. TWICE. Before I could even allow myself to get worked up or stressed, I took a couple deep breaths, focused, and swam my hardest and most consistent. Visualizing a fluid stroke, steady breathing, and using as much power as I could muster up in my legs and well... entire upper body :)

And after a 50 yd cooldown, it was done. I had just finished my first Swim Clinic. It was a small step for an Ironbaby, but a HUGE step for me. What started out as something that made me completely nervous, actually turned into a life-changing workout! Who'd have thought? And I'm proud to say I didn't get scared off or run the other way. I faced it and I did my best. And I know I'm going to have countless other moments like this throughout the season. I'm excited to witness all the mental, physical & emotional growth I'll be doing these next nine months.

Coach Joe said at the end of practice that no matter how many races you've done, whether it's your first or your eighth (and he's a five-time Ironman finisher), you'll always have butterflies. "And it's ok to have butterflies," he said. "Just make sure they're all flying in the same direction."